Alright, listen up – I’ve been around the UK porn block more times than I care to admit, and every so often a site comes along that actually gets it. Cock Puppets is that site. This isn’t your standard scripted studio nonsense with fake moans and lighting that hides everything. This is real, raw, British filth – the kind where the bed squeaks, the camera gets too close, and nobody’s pretending this is anything other than what it is.
Here’s the format, and honestly, it’s genius: every scene starts as a cheeky little sit down chat. April Paisley and her husband Emojizz grill their guest – where does she like it, what’s her favourite position, how cock crazy is she really when the cameras stop rolling? And trust me, the answers are never boring.
Then comes the challenge. And that’s where things go completely off the rails.
Deepthroat endurance tests. Spitroast trials. Pegging. DP. Squirt soaked studios that probably need industrial cleaning between shoots. These girls don’t just pass the challenge – they drown it.
This is where Cock Puppets quietly flexes. We’re not talking random unknowns here – the guest list reads like a UK porn awards afterparty:
– Alexxa Vice – multi – award winner, brings trophy level energy
– Louise Lee – award winning MILF of the year, and she earns it
– April Paisley & Emojizz – the hosts, and honestly one of the most convincing “we actually love doing this” couples in UK porn
– Plus a rotating door of hungry newcomers – first timers like Billie Blow stepping in front of the camera for the very first time, submissive favourites, squirting specialists, girl next door types with very un girl next door hobbies
The chemistry is real. April and Emojizz have that rare married couple dynamic where the guest never feels like a third wheel – she feels like the main event.
The interviews are genuinely entertaining. You’ll actually laugh before things get filthy. The “butter wouldn’t melt” contrast of a sweet interview followed by total destruction is the whole appeal.
Intimate bedroom sets. Neon lingerie, close up camerawork, no pretence. It feels like you’re in the room, not watching through a window.
Squirt fans, eat your heart out. The studio floor takes more damage per scene than most sites manage in a year.
Cock Puppets nails a formula most sites overcomplicate: great personalities, genuine heat, and a challenge format that gives every scene a reason to exist. If you like your UK porn with personality, filth, and a host couple who clearly adore every second – this one goes straight into the bookmarks.
Docking one point purely because I now worry about whoever has to clean that studio.









